I had a call at 1:00 PM on a Tuesday: I was terminated. I had seen it coming for a while. Something about it aggravated my back pain. 😉 Before 5:00 pm that day I had purchased an $1,800 Herman Miller chair. This is my story.

An idiot’s guide to an FSA

A Flexible Spending Account or FSA restricts what you can spend your money on in exchange for getting an income tax deduction on that money. For example with a Health Care FSA or HCFSA, if you spend $1,000 a year on medical expenses and are in a 25% tax bracket, you can put $1,000 in your FSA and save the income tax on it ($250). There is one catch: whatever you don’t spend you lose. Keep in mind the following.

• An HCFSA is funded in advance at the start of the year. All of your FSA funds are available on the first of January.

• Every pay check the company claws back the respective amount from your wages.

• When you leave or depart the company your FSA money is refunded back to the corporation.

  • If you leave before the end of the year and the FSA is exhausted, you’ve won.

  • If you leave before the end of the year and there is money in the FSA, the company may have won.

• At the end of the year, subject to the whims of the administrator and the company they may roll over $650; they may not. I have been bitten by this.

• When you depart the company you may or may not have a “grace period.” That may or may not be documented in your plan. Rely on this at your own peril.

Let’s take a look at the first three points with a graph, here we assume the FSA is set to $365 a year for simplicity.

The green shows you when you’re “in the green:” when most of the money in your FSA is advanced to you. You win if you spend into the green. The blue is the natural clawing back process.

Now let’s say you were terminated 60 days in.

In the above scenario, they can’t possibly recover the full amount available because you were terminated early. But that green is still yours, even if just for the day, week, or month.

A Dependent Care FSA (DCFSA) isn’t funded in advance. But, it serves a similar purpose except for your kids. You can put up to $5,000/yr in it and everyone should. The same stipulation applies: if you’re terminated the company gets to keep the money you’ve allocated in the fund for your kids. Something about this seems especially evil. It is literally a corporation expropriating your kids’ medical funds.

When you’re fired, deplete the funds

When you find yourself terminated, the clock is ticking: act fast.

• Put in a claim for the DCFSA funds. Even if it’s just part of the month’s daycare. Use it!

• Spend your FSA funds. You’re going to lose them if not

  • Do you have back pain? If so, anything ergonomic can be considered a necessary part of your treatment. Maybe you have back pain. If not, consider asking about necessary prevention; but, you probably have back pain.

  • Do you have a Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) if so, consider an ergonomic mechanical keyboard. Only if, of course, your doctor finds it to be a necessary part of your treatment — which I am sure he will. If not, consider asking about whether or not it’s necessary to prevent RSI.

  • Have you been losing muscle mass, any strength training equipment can be considered necessary for “physical therapy”? If not, consider asking about prevention; but, you probably have a reduction in muscle mass.

  • Are you obese? If you are, a treadmill can assist in solving this problem. If not, consider asking about prevention; but, you probably would be healthier if you had the necessary equipment to adhere to physical therapy routine.

• You can use the FSAFeds site to determine what is an eligible expense.

How do you do this?

• Immediately schedule a physician visit. Get your physical.

• Bring a “Letter of Medical Necessity” (legal term) or a “Certification of Medical Necessity” (my specific FSA provider’s form). If your FSA provider has neither, you can use the Letter of Medical Necessity on fsafeds.gov.

• Talk about your problems with your doctor.

• Ask about treatment, and get them to fill out and sign the “Letter of Medical Necessity” or a “Certification of Medical Necessity.” It should name your condition and treatment explicitly.

• Make the purchase on credit.

• Get a detailed invoice.

• File with FSA provider a claim that includes the invoice and letter.

How I handled getting fired

• Terminated at 1 pm

• Doctors appointment scheduled at 3:20 pm

• Chair ordered at 4:00 pm, cost $1,791.54

• Claim filed for reimbursement at 4:30 pm

Follow Up

In case there is any question about if this worked, it did! I can’t say it’ll work for you; but, I can say as a matter of fact it worked for me.

Scientific Journal of Objective Truths and Proof 2025:07-24.0.0

I signed up for their fiber service when I bought my home in 2021. At the time I was paying $45.00 a month. With surcharges that took it to $46.02. I had to go back and look up this number, because over the years they started charging for an equipment fee that I couldn’t get removed, and then they raised the price of their service. I called up once before and they said they no longer offered the prior rate. They kept turning up the heat until we got to this,

Same service only four years later.

Today I saw this offer on their website,

That’s effectively $65 w/ a $10 discount for ACH autopay.

Effectively the same service I ordered, four years ago. And, it’s still “not an introductory offer.”

I called up to complain again. They said they could offer me that rate if I bundled wireless. I was informed that that wasn’t the advertised deal on their website. I told them I wanted to cancel. They came back to $45.00/month.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. A saving of $35 a month is $420 a year. Not bad for a simple 30 minute call. A change big enough for Discover to notice.

Scientific Journal of Objective Truths and Proof 2025:3-5.0.0

Simple story, I went to Subway. I ordered a Turkey Breast with Double Meat. I complained about the double meat when it was put on. It seemed like I was getting screwed. I thought she wasn’t going to charge it. She charged it. I asked for confirmation. I was told,

• A foot long Turkey Breast normally has 12 slices of Turkey

• Double Meats adds 6 slices of Turkey for 18 slices.

• The Double Meat was already on the sandwich as I ordered it.

• I would have to pay for it.

No problem! Typical bait and switch identified: I’ll take the switch and make them pay for it. I pull out my phone, hit record, and asked for clarification,

After they explain what you’re being told to pay for, pay for it without drama. Why be a dick? You’re going to win. Announce your intention to dispute the charge, and pay anyway. Everyone is happy. The prols don’t care what happens after you pay. It’s out of their control.

I got to tip $0. Almost never do that. Smile, say “thank you.” Walk out. Tipping $0 is required here: if you tip and you dispute the charge, they may very well contest it on the tip alone. The only item I purchased, was the one I ordered and didn’t get. Keep it simple. And keep in mind, the employee is just doing what they’re told — don’t frustrate or aggravate them: punch up above them.

Dispute the Charge

Next up,

1. Pull out your credit card.

2. Call the number on the back.

3. Tell them you want to dispute the last charge. The words you want to use are “dispute,” “reject”, or “bounce” the charge.

   Note: it is NOT “fraud.” Fraud to the representative means your card is getting shut down.

After the charge is disputed, generally you’ll get an email.

We received your inquiry about a disputed  transaction on your account. We appreciate your patience while we research your dispute and will let you know our findings as soon as our research is complete. Please send us any supporting documents you may have, such as those described below.

It will have a website or email address where you can respond with your claim and your evidence. You can email them back,

Within minutes in my case: victory

Here is the thing many people don’t realize though the credit card company works for you! They’re all very nice. And for a good reason: everything you purchase is 2-5% higher because of credit card charges. This service comes at a great cost to society, so every now-and-then they’ll gladly help you fight the merchant. You will almost never have a bad interaction pertaining to Fraud and Disputes.

In fact, this is the service the credit card companies offered to get people to pay with their plastic originally.

They were being unreasonable

Now the real question, what does double meat mean on their other sandwiches, and will they honor their marketing tomorrow. I know what “double” means. They’re not going to redefine that term, and the way I see it I have no obligation to ask such a stupid question — the definition of “double” — before making a purchase.

Looks like this month, I’m on the (non-pedo) Jared Fogle diet. They can kill the CFPB, but they can’t stop me from doing God’s work for a free sandwich.

Scientific Journal of Objective Truths and Proof 2025:2-22.0.0